Mr. Jenkins & Dr. Hyde [PG, English]

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Mr. Jenkins & Dr. Hyde [PG, English]

ViestiKirjoittaja Yuugi » Ma Syys 03, 2012 10:17 pm

Name: Mr. Jenkins & Dr. Hyde
Author: Yuugi
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor, Drama, for the lulz
Warnings: Dead birds
Summary: Mr. Jenkins and his fat cat terrorize the lives of innocent people.
A/N: I wrote this for the lulz, seriously, There was this person in another forum... let me paste a convo here.

xxxx says
Which is great because you're useful as one.
Am I mean if I laugh at people I don't know?
**** says
:3
exactly~
and no
that's the whole reason that the internet exists, I think
to laugh at people that we don't know
xxxx says
That... ******* on **...
First like... three or four messages full of angsting that no one's interested in...
Then I noticed...
"total mr jenkins/hyde. he became the biggest jackass ever."
**** says
XDDD
I noticed those as well and couldn't help but laugh
xxxx says
And I'm like "You retard. It's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Who the fuck is Mr. Jenkins."


And then I thought Mr. Jenkins sounds like a janitor of some sort. And then came up with this. Enjoy.




Whenever I woke up and looked outside the window, mr. Jenkins was already up raking the leaves. I don't know how he did that. He always seemed to be awake.
Mr. Jenkins had a cat called Dr. Hyde. The weirdest fucking furball ever. Kept bringing dead birds into my appartment whenever I left the door open. I have no idea how the little creeper hunted down that pelican from last week and managed to drag it inside. I think Dr. Hyde hunts them for his master. Mr. Jenkins seems to be fond of all sorts of dead animals. I believe he eats them. No matter whether it's a magpie Dr. Hyde has killed or a roadkill racoon Mr. Jenkins had found lying flat in the middle of the highway.

I'm sure Dr. Hyde hated me. The malicious look in his eyes when he brought those poor avians through my door thinking 'No, I did not get lost in the wrong appartment. You, on the other hand, are living in a wrong place', was indescribable.

Mr. Jenkins was a fat man in his late 50's. His face was always red and swollen and glistering from sweat, which he seemed to emit no matter what he did or where he was. It was like slug's slime, part of the organism itself. Now that I think of it, Mr. Jenkins did look like a well-fed slug.

Before I moved out of the appartment I lived back in those days, I tried to paint the walls to get a better price from it. Now I know that Dr. Hyde (and probably his master too) hates peach. The little fucker sneaked in with a half dead swan and let it loose in my living room, bleeding like hell. The pitiful creature tried to fly with almost broken neck and ended up bumping into my walls, leaving huge stains of black and red into the fresh paint. All this while I was out picking up mail.
I found the swan dead under my couch a week later after wondering how the walls and the floor got all slippery from blood. Dr. Hyde must have the strenght of an adult rottweiler.

I seemed to be the only one on Dr. Hyde's personal black list. Mr. Jenkins never got any complaints about him and I never saw it slink into anyone else's appartment. There were, after all, several doors in the same building, leading to several flats. I was the only one terrorized by that flat-faced psychopath called Dr. Hyde. I never dared to inform Mr. Jenkins about his pet's (or rather, servant's) behavior. I was afraid that when I'd knock on his door on the first floor, he'd come out, sweating the cat he'd keep in his arms all wet, looking like Jabba the Hut with all nine of his chins, blazing look in his tiny, pigg-like eyes almost buried within the swollen face. He might have killed me for complaining about his cat. He might have killed me with a rake. The thought of it distressed me at nights when I wasn't too exhausted from getting rid of all the avians and occasional hedgehogs Dr. Hyde had hid all around my appartment.

I saw nightmares of his rake.


~*~

The end of the story.
ママちゃん, 平手打ちしてください!!

Kuva

Avan tehnyt Hasu

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Yuugi
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Liittynyt: To Elo 14, 2008 7:03 pm
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Re: Mr. Jenkins & Dr. Hyde [PG, English]

ViestiKirjoittaja Anraf » Ma Loka 08, 2012 4:12 pm

...Okay, curiosity killed the cat, but apparently it didn't kill Dr. Hyde. Nor me, who just had to out of my curious cat nature come and check this out.
However... Note to self: Don't eat anything when reading a text that contains "death" in its warnings. I am not usually sensitive to such things at all, but, described this well as you did, I have to admit I didn't enjoy much of my meal. Especially because it was chicken in tomato sauce... :'D

Okay... First of all, this was totally random and I totally hope the poor girl's (suppose it was a girl) spouse isn't really this kind of creepy Mr. Jenkins with even creepier "pet" Dr. Hyde. And second, well done! Nicely caught random idea of even more random web rant. :D
This was very vivid describing (to the point of making me lose my appetite) and brought chills to my spine. The end evoked also questions; did the person move out after this or did they just continue cleaning up the birds, day after day? I guess we'll never know, and that creeps me even more.
~Here lies what is left of me. The rest is mystery. Ignore thyself.~ (Stan Rice)

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