Bitter almonds, zest of an orange. [Uruha/Kai, R, oneshot]

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Bitter almonds, zest of an orange. [Uruha/Kai, R, oneshot]

ViestiKirjoittaja Nera » Ke Heinä 25, 2012 9:17 pm

Title: Bitter almonds, zest of an orange.
Author: Nera
Rating: R
Beta: None
Pairings: Uruha/Kai
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Bad language, sex
Summary: "Kai dismisses the feelings that are steadily dipping their roots into his chest; growing with a steady pace. He tries to ignore it, because Uruha and he are only playing a silly game."
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story.
Comments: Recently I've felt the need to write something angsty. Forgive me for making Uruha an total asshole. 3:





It all starts with uncalled flirting and teasing, which leads to pretty much nothing. Innuendos maybe, but nothing more. It's as annoying as it gets. It's a game at first; something to which both parties laugh and find funny. Nothing serious, life goes on and the music keeps on playing.

That is until a seed is planted.

Kai dismisses the feelings that are steadily dipping their roots into his chest; growing with a steady pace. He tries to ignore it, because Uruha and he are only playing a silly game. It won’t lead into anything and Kai knows this. To his dismay, it’s a stubborn seed.

Very stubborn.

Kai grows to dislike the sprouts that tickle his ribs and makes his temper uneven, because he’s so bad at hiding his true emotions. He hates the fake smiles he sometimes pastes into his emails to make them seem more cheerful, and he hates the fake smiles he gives in person, because it isn’t like him at all. Of course he laughs at jokes, but inside he feels like his heart is suffocating.
He wants to be mad at Uruha, but in the same time he wants to be as nice as possible and hope his feelings would translate in some magical way. Kai actually sneezes in Uruha’s general direction, but it doesn’t end in pink cotton clouds, mostly in Uruha looking at him like he’s mental. Kai shrugs apologetically and backs into his mental corner. He wants to be mad at Uruha, but he finds himself doing small favours to the guitarist all the time, like buying coffee without Uruha asking or finding out where the nearest car repair shop is from Uruha’s place, because he happens to remember Uruha blew a tire on his car. Stupid things Uruha could do all by himself, but Kai is just too nice to not do it and it frustrates him because he doesn’t gain anything from it
Then there are the completely hopeless days when he feels like shit, but as soon as Uruha is close, he lights up and they can talk about the stupidest shit ever and Kai won’t care, because he’s so happy Uruha is talking to him. He forgets he has been sad and everything is okay. At least until Uruha saunters off and leaves Kai with a hole in his heart.

Uruha is good at tugging at Kai’s heartstrings. It’s not even funny how easy it is for him to pull him close and then push Kai away. Kai let’s it all happen, because it’s a selfish way to get close to the person that planted that fucking seed of curiosity in him. He feels like he is drowning in his emotions and he gets depressed. Kai says he’s thinking hard, when Reita tells him his frown lines are deeper than his dimples. Reita tells him to stop, because it looks creepy to him and he invites Kai out for drinks after practice. To loosen up those knots, he says and adjusts his cap which Kai knows Uruha gave him for as a birthday gift some years ago.
Kai agrees, though he knows Uruha will be there too. It doesn’t make things easier, no, but if it is dark enough in there, Kai can sink into his corner and look after Reita who has the poorest alcohol tolerance in the history of man. Kai doesn’t really mind, he has gotten used to it over time, but the image of Uruha prancing away into the corners of the bar to find company still stings. Kai crosses his legs and moves his drink away from him because he suddenly doesn’t feel like having it anymore.

“Don’t look like that!” Uruha’s cheerful voice shouts close to his ear, because someone turned up the music without Kai noticing it. Uruha sits down next to him and places a hand on Kai’s thigh like it was kosher.

“Like what?” Kai knows he has been frowning again, but he needs to keep the discussion going, because it’s probably the only time this week that Uruha will violate his personal space and Kai will forgive him.

“Like your dog died. You’ll make me all sad.” Uruha grins, his teeth white and shining and his cheeks a little rosy.

“I’m sorry-” Kai starts, but his sentence drowns in Uruha’s cheers when he notices there’s a football match on TV and his favourite team is leading.

Kai looks around for Reita, but sees him nowhere. Kai isn’t worried actually, just a little miffed that he’s alone with a hard-headed drunkard, whom has had more than he and is getting more and more invading.
Kai wouldn’t mind if Uruha’s hands were all over him, to be honest though. For the time he’s been madly enamoured by the guitarist, he has had more than one wet dream of him and often masturbated while thinking of Uruha and how gorgeous he would look in his bed, all worked up and ravished. He has thought of how those lips would feel on his own, his skin, even on his dick. Then they would fuck and Kai would make Uruha see stars and they’d hold each other, because Kai is a clingy bastard after sex.
Then Kai would wipe himself off with a tissue and hug a pillow because it’s the closest he gets right now.

“Here, have a shot with me,” Uruha slams a glass in front of Kai and wakes him up from his reminiscing. “I hope Grey Goose is okay.” Uruha lifts his glass and extends his arm towards Kai to show he wants to toast before they chug it all down. Kai nods absentmindedly and they toast to Reita getting it on tonight. Kai actually snorts at that and almost forgets to drink his shot.

“Why are you so gloomy tonight?” Uruha asks out of nowhere, flings an arms around Kai’s shoulders and smiles at him like it was nothing they hadn’t done before. Kai’s caught off guard and he looks at Uruha, smiles and shrugs. Stress is his answer and Uruha gives him a look Kai can’t decipher before he sips on his beer.

“Don’t be. It’s stupid,” Uruha stares into his beer and motions towards Kai’s drink. “Drink it up, you’ll feel better.” Kai smiles at the words that are so Uruha. He takes the lukewarm vodka-tonic and downs it faster than he intended to. Uruha’s cheering on the TV and Kai tries to cheer with him, only to understand that he’s not really into the game. He likes football, just not as much as Uruha does.
Kai detaches himself from Uruha’s embrace and says he needs to go. Uruha merely grunts, his eyes glued to the screen. Kai didn’t expect much more. Or he did. He admits he would like it if Uruha did something to recognize his presence. A long shot for Uruha is oblivious and even more so when intoxicated. It goes on like that the entire night; Uruha violating Kai’s personal space more and more the more he has to drink the more pliant he gets. When Beckham scores for the millionth time Kai is pulled into a rough hug and he feels Uruha’s lips on his face. They are soft lips and Kai’s heart skips a beat and wishes Uruha was more sober, but in the end he pretends that Uruha actually likes him.

Kai pretends that Uruha likes him when he’s dragged home by the hand, cheerful singsonging accompanying them in the staircase and Kai wishes Uruha actually likes him when he kisses him sloppily. Kai wouldn’t want this if he was sober, because he knows he’ll feel like shit in the morning. Uruha smiles at him and kisses him again and again and Kai ends up smiling back, somewhat sadly, but Uruha doesn’t really notice.
This is his fantasy after all and Uruha’s lips feel good on his, his skin, even on his dick. Kai doesn’t remember how they ended up in bed, naked and aroused, but Uruha is good. Albeit his hands are clumsy and his breath smells of whiskey, Kai allows himself to indulge in the pleasure and when he fucks Uruha it’s better than his wildest fantasies. It will make their relationship complicated, but Kai is too selfish to care that moment and he marvels Uruha’l lithe figure and the way his whole body arches into his thrusts before both pass out.

It’s needless to say that Kai’s heart breaks a little in the morning when Uruha tells him it wasn’t more than sex for him. Kai nods and smiles, because despite his wishes, he knows Uruha isn’t into him and he should leave. Kai merely nods a goodbye and leaves Uruha’s apartment under the pressure of an awkward silence. Kai tortures himself with the memories of Uruha’s lips on his and how good it felt. When he gets home, he showers and curls into the corner of his couch. His barrier breaks and he beats himself up for thinking Uruha actually liked him when he dragged Kai home. Kai doesn’t remember if he ever has cried over heart-ache before, but he does this time.
He doesn’t sleep that night, because he drinks too much coffee and ends up calling in sick the next day to avoid contact. In his heart he still wishes he touched some part of Uruha’s soul, but in the end he knows it’s not likely. Uruha just fucked him and continued with his life. Kai should too and he knows it. He goes through all the stages of self-loath to over analyzing his and Uruha’s behaviour to see what part they fucked up.
In the end it’s Uruha who stands behind his door later that same day and says he wanted to come check up on the patient. Kai groans on the inside, because he looks feverish with his puffy eyes and all.

“I hope I don’t get it.” Uruha comments and Kai wishes with all his heart that Uruha had the same disease he is fighting with at the moment, because Kai doesn’t fucking deserve to be this miserable.

“Don’t worry.” Kai reassures his band-mate and he tells him they’ll see each other the next day for practice. Uruha smiles and Kai has to fight extra hard to keep his emotions at bay. They say their good-byes and Kai mutters his confession to his closed door before he returns to the couch where he had been sitting all day.

A week passes with much inconvenience. Kai is irritable and he is starting to dislike Uruha and everything he symbolizes for Kai. Stupid heart-breaks and unanswered feelings being on the top of his list. He avoids Uruha and his answers are clipped when he must speak to him. Eventually, Uruha gets annoyed with him and asks him what the fuck crawled up his ass and died. Kai wants to tell him the truth but instead he speaks with his fist and Uruha is left with a black eye and more questions than answers. After that Kai disappears quite efficiently from the face of the earth and he’s not found until Reita one day happens run into him when he’s out shopping for groceries.
Kai decides it’s useless to keep on running and let’s Reita ask him what is wrong and help him with his shopping bags. Kai gives him a truthful answer and he is glad Reita doesn’t seem to accuse him for anything, which Kai finds a relief. Reita says very little, he lets Kai do the talking and rubs his shoulder. When Kai’s finished, he asks him to shave and go out and catch a film with him, then he busies himself with unpacking Kai’s groceries.

“It’ll do you good.” Reita smiles when he places the canned beans into Kai’s kitchen cabinet, despite Kai saying he doesn’t have to. Kai zones out for a while and rubs a hand over his stubbly cheek.

Then he nods a yes.




//
I like to angst like an overdramatic teenager, but then again my favourite pony is Rarity. I'm also aware I should update my fic directory.
Now give me feedback, plz.

Avatar
Nera
Vuoden crossover
 
Viestit: 270
Liittynyt: To Elo 14, 2008 5:43 pm
Paikkakunta: NU ÅBO

Re: Bitter almonds, zest of an orange. [Uruha/Kai, R, onesho

ViestiKirjoittaja Ninjin » La Syys 01, 2012 9:59 am

HEWWO. In midst of everything, I've apparently forgotten entirely how to build a sensible comment, so I'm hopin' this'll make sense.

Onto the story! Writing this as I'm reading, whee~
At the beginning, I like how you begin describing the situation. It's a simple yet very informative way, and on top of that, you've made it poetic. This is a rare combination. Usually fiction sums up a situation much like a review, "this and this has happened and these characters have done this which lead to this and now we're at situation X and the story starts HERE:", you probably know the way. Your first paragraphs do all that, but manage to actually build the feel of the fic at the same time while leading the reader to immerse themselves into the story.

The storytelling style you've chosen is new to me. I can't quite pick up on what makes it different, but I've never read something written in this manner. Hm.

Drinking part of the story is somewhat lolsome. :D There's all this cheerfulness and drunkness around Kai, and then Kai himself, who is like an endless pit of darkness and angst. Man need himself a couple more shots. Or, yeah, Uruha might do just as well. Cheer the dude up a bit, ok? Wa- wait, WHERE ARE YOU GOING!? FOOTBALL? Naw MAN. D:
Kai wouldn’t mind if Uruha’s hands were all over him, to be honest though.

Modesty. From all we know at this point, you'd PREFER his hands all over you, Kai.
And now we're actually having those shots. The only thing missing is a cheerful Kai.

I like the way the kiss happens. It's original and somehow very fitting and well written as well as believable and natural. This sort of things happen.
NOW DUDE SERIOUSLY - you're going to GET SOME FROM URUHA, start smiling for Christ's sake DDD:

Albeit his hands are clumsy and his breath smells of whiskey,

This. This sentence. It's perfect. I don't know why but I love it. Wow. There's a whole range of emotion captured into this sentence due to its place in the text and important bits of the story connecting to it, everything from Kai's fantasy to the fact it's coming together in a manner he didn't really wish it would, and seemingly for just this one night. It's all in this sentence, and... and that's perfect.

Kai wishes with all his heart that Uruha had the same disease he is fighting with at the moment, because Kai doesn’t fucking deserve to be this miserable.

This is also perfection. I lol'd. :D That's the attitude!
I like the ending as well. Films and friends ftw.

Thanks for the read and... hopefully my comment made sense. ^^;
(My favourite pony is a zebra. I like Zecora.)
"I'm an angel, you ass. I don't have a soul to sell."

    2 tykkää.
Avatar
Ninjin
Pääesiintyjä
 
Viestit: 763
Liittynyt: La Elo 16, 2008 1:57 pm
Paikkakunta: Hyvinkää

Re: Bitter almonds, zest of an orange. [Uruha/Kai, R, onesho

ViestiKirjoittaja Nera » La Kesä 08, 2013 10:39 pm

HELLO <3

I need to start with a big, fat I'm sorry, because damn, I've ignored this comment answering for way too long. Ugh. God, I'm sorry. D: Hopefully I haven't given you a bad image of myself. I do appreciate this comment of your's A LOT. I've just procrastinated and that's no good. ;_; So, let's get on with this answer, shall we?

At the beginning, I like how you begin describing the situation. It's a simple yet very informative way, and on top of that, you've made it poetic. This is a rare combination. Usually fiction sums up a situation much like a review, "this and this has happened and these characters have done this which lead to this and now we're at situation X and the story starts HERE:", you probably know the way. Your first paragraphs do all that, but manage to actually build the feel of the fic at the same time while leading the reader to immerse themselves into the story.

Long quote is long, but omg SQUEEE, let me roll in this praise for a while. <3 I get so happy from hearing this! I do, I do. ;^; I feel like I don't deserve all this praise. And then you just keep on praising. Ugh, I will blame you, if my ego inflates and becomes unbearable.

Again, sorry for taking almost a year to answer, but then again THANK YOU for this lovely comment. :> I really appreciate this. Thank yooooouuuu~!

Avatar
Nera
Vuoden crossover
 
Viestit: 270
Liittynyt: To Elo 14, 2008 5:43 pm
Paikkakunta: NU ÅBO


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